Love, sex, and manifesting your ‘dream partner’

To have a really intimate, alive, healing, sexual relationship... takes baring yourself, being fully seen, and being able to communicate with a LOT of clarity, and more...

In a recent episode of her podcast ‘Orgasmic Enlightenment’, holistic sex and relationship coach Kim Anami spoke about how to manifest dream partners: people who challenge us and help us grow.

To start, Anami argues people often fall into similar patterns when seeking a partner, ending up with someone in a similar energy field, who might not help them evolve.

To attract better matches, Anami counsels people to connect to their sexual energy. “The more you inhabit it, the more you embody your authentic self, you start to effortlessly add and subtract things and people from your life and your words, your choices and actions are more in alignment with your truth,” she said. “When people are serious about drawing in new love, I encourage them to embark on a rigorous self-pleasure practice to explore all the ways that they can amplify their feminine and masculine energies and to clear any blockages that they might have to fully owning and expressing themselves as sexual beings.”

In the episode, Anami interviews Freya, a former student from her Well-F–ked Woman salon. Freya spoke about her first serendipitous connection with her partner after connecting on Instagram because of a poem she had written. “I had just found this amazing port key in poetry where I could access parts of myself that I couldn’t with normal words or normal reflection and self-inquiry. There was just something about writing in this way that allowed me to be brutally honest about what was going on inside of me and to make it bigger, I think, to see it clearly,” she said.

In writing poetry, Freya said she started to process her past relationships. “I was participating in creating these relationships that were beautiful, but not all in,” she said. After an eye-opening conversation with a friend, she decided to try dating apps – first Bumble, and then Tinder – where she chose to share the most genuine version of herself in her bio section (anyone frequenting these types of sites will know that honesty is a bit of a rare commodity!).

Through this, she met a man who matched the energy she was exuding in an authentic and honest way. “I'm not even sure I can articulate how much that allowed my nervous system to just relax,” she said. “The fact that he could meet me in that way and be unwavering and be completely unafraid of me.”

Prior to the experience, Freya said she had to practice coming back to her body and her sexuality, which helped prepare her for meeting her partner. “[So much of] what it takes to have a really intimate, alive, healing, sexual relationship, at least from what I've experienced, is baring yourself, being fully seen, and being able to communicate with a lot of clarity,” she said. By working through her blockage during the Well-F–ked Woman salon, which focuses on utilising sexual energy to heal and cleanse, Freya said she was able to find what she was searching for, both in a partner and in herself. “I don't think I can express how sweet it is to feel this at home in your body.”

Freya’s results are nothing new for Anami’s students. Says the sexpert: “When we have that magical mix of deep, gourmet sex, heart, soul, vagina, mind/psycho-spiritual connection, it moves everything, and the effortless way in which it creates change in our life is stupendous.”